Pros of Keeping Your Last Name: It keeps your professional identity consistent In the age of the Internet, a lot of our accomplishments and our digital footprint make up who we are, and unfortunately, it can be a little tricky to track that after a name change. About 20% of women married in recent years kept their maiden name, and another 10% compromised with a blended or hyphenated surname. In Britain, hyphenated double surnames were historically passed down to heirs. It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. Making big decisions is an essential part of wedding planning, from picking your flowers to finalizing your guest list. One that will? This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. Hyphenate your name, or both of you can hyphenate your names. This is especially true if the child hasn’t started school yet. Pros: One way to get around hyphens yet honor both parents is to create a new name from both parents' last names. Cons. By Julia Pelly February 14, 2019. Pros: The hyphenated surname lets you share your family name with your spouse and is a popular option for couples who want their children to have both last names. What Is Name Blending, and Why Are Couples Doing It? A Last Name as a First or Middle Name Photo: istock . The cons of the hyphenated last name include what might wind up being a very long last name for the child. Deciding to keep or change your last name—and the time to think about your surname is well before the ceremony. Take your spouse’s last name or move your last name to use as your middle name and add your spouse’s name.Â. We knew we still might have some issues due to the fact that neither of us would share their name (we still each liked our names), but we figured that since they had the same last name, one that was clearly derivative of both our last names, they’d feel connected and it would be clear to outsiders that we were a family. but even once/if we do get married, i will not give up my last name. You can do some of the changes before the wedding, but many require a certified copy of your recorded marriage license which you’ll only have after the wedding. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit unconventional as long as I felt it was best for my kids. Cons: A hyphenated last name is sometimes long, and people tend to drop the second last name when space is an issue. After We're Married, Can My Husband Take My Last Name? Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. Our kids are the only grandchildren on my husband’s side, and even the hyphenation had caused some disputes. We didn’t hyphenate, my wife kept her last name. Pay close attention to your marriage license application. When my husband and I found out we were expecting our first baby, we immediately started a list of potential names. If you're debating whether or not to hyphenate your last name, considering these pros and cons may help: If you decide that hyphenating your last name is the right choice for you, here are some tips to be aware of: Some states require you to write your new hyphenated name on your marriage license application. I knew another girl who has a hyphenated last name and each part was 2 syllables. There is a general rule, however: the younger the child is, the more likely the last name will be that of the father’s. - Page 3: my boyfriend and i arent married. We had family members who weren’t happy that their last name wouldn’t be carried on to the next generation, while others thought it was just plain weird to make up something new. This practice began in the 15th century and was limited to nobility or those of great wealth. If they … We wanted something unique but not weird, something that rolled off our tongues easily. With our baby’s impending due date, we were stuck on whose last name he would carry. You might want to keep the name you have, but if you are changing your name, you have options: Here, we're exploring the last option, hyphenating your last name, with help from expert Valerie Freeman. it will be hyphenated at the least. If your children are using your new name, check-in with their school teachers, dentist and doctor's offices, etc. However, few (if any) of these will be carried with you for the rest of your life. Another potential con is when it comes to your children. We also didn’t really want to hyphenate, as we’d heard from friends with hyphenated names that dealing with a hyphen was a real pain. hide. First, his health insurance card came with just the second half of his hyphenated name, and when I called to let them know there was a mistake, I was told their system wasn’t capable of inputting hyphens. The ONLY time that was an issue was when traveling out of the country with our young son, who has my last name. But with a week to spare (and no closer to finding an alternative), we grudgingly decided to hyphenate. If you have children, which name will they use as a last name? But think of it this way: hyphenating both partners' last names can be incredibly meaningful for a woman whose traditional family has no sons to carry on their last name.". That evening, I suggested to my husband that we change our kids’ last names—and this time we would get it right. If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. What are the pros and cons of hyphenated names? Turns out a having a hyphenated name is a real pain. For questions regarding your new last name, make sure to inquire with airlines and cruise ships, the marriage bureau, TSA, and U.S. Immigration before you depart. I’d already spent four years correcting my kid’s name and there was no way I was going to keep that up for the next 15 years while he worked his way through the school system. "Many couples with more conservative upbringings may not be keen on the idea. We tossed around the idea of making up a new name, but that seemed too unconventional. Parents invented over 1,000 new baby names in 2017. When I reflect on changing my sons’ names, I’m glad we did it. © Copyright 2021 St. Joseph Communications. When our 20-week ultrasound confirmed we were having a boy, we settled on our son’s moniker. Pros and Cons of Hyphenating Name After Marriage. In modern-day America and much of the English-speaking western world, the choice to hyphenate has less to do with the bourgeoise as it is a declaration of equality.Â, "Hyphenating your last name may also be a sentimental choice," says Freeman. You may choose to hyphenate your name no matter which gender you identify with or whom you are marrying, as no law or rule prevents you from doing so. 11 comments. Why my two children have different last namesThe new name felt both fresh and grounded in their history. 1. I hyphenated my kid's last name—four years later, I changed my mind. If you are leaving for a honeymoon, the name on your ticket must match your current identification and/or passport. A common name makes you more easily recognizable as one family. St. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. Pros: It wasn’t until a friend who wanted to get a blanket embroidered asked what my baby’s monogram would be that I realized we still had something major to decide: his last name. When a Name Change for a Child Will Be Approved Without Consent. Cons: Unless your child decides to incorporate the other parent's last name into ... You plan on giving baby that hyphenated last name. (For example, the Helling-Coleman brothers become the Hellman brothers.). For example, both Mary White and Lauren Holland will hyphenate their names when they wed. Mary could change her name to Mary White-Holland or Mary Holland-White, and Lauren's name would change similarly. it gets exhausting after a while. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. save. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. They commemorated the combining of family fortunes and affiliations by marriage. Parents invented over 1,000 new baby names in 2017. Your Biggest Wedding Etiquette Questions, Answered, The 15 Best Luggage Pieces That Will Make You Honeymoon-Ready, 7 Feminist Alternatives to Outdated (and Patriarchal) Wedding Traditions, Where to Register: The 44 Best Wedding Registry Sites & Stores, The Ultimate Post-Wedding Checklist: 13 Tasks To Do After Your Wedding. Ideally I could get some advice and hear stories on here from people who can give good reasoning as to why hyphenating a child's last name is not a good idea, but I'm really open for any discussion on the topic. Next, the hospital sent us two bills for his birth, one with the first half of his last name, the other with the second. It’s not common to give a hyphenated last name to your children which means you’d likely have a different last name than your children. Con they have a long last name,their last name is different than their parents Turns out a having a hyphenated name is a real pain. She has performed hundreds of weddings and is licensed in all 50 states. Again, we hyphenated and encountered all the same issues we’d had with my first-born. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. Kid Complications. Just as we’d been warned, the hyphen was a real pain. Valerie Freeman is the founder of Betty Lu Paperie and a member of The Cultivated Creative and Stationer's Summit. A hyphenated last name is when you and your spouse combine both of your last names with a hyphen. Logistically, changing their names took just two visits to the county courthouse and $115 each. Some family members were just disappointed, and while we understood the sadness they felt, the new name felt right to us and we weren’t changing our minds again. If you decide that changing your last name isn’t for you, you still have the option of hyphenating your maiden name with your husband’s surname. Here, parents who’ve tried some of the common options explain the pros and cons of each … “We had a non-hyphenated double surname.” Anna’s double surnames caused issues for her children, so she changed the rules for baby number three. You may have to educate people on your correct last name. Also, the likelihood of the child one day passing along her full last name is not strong as it will become more complicated when combined with another name if she chooses to do that as a parent. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. It becomes a legal document after the marriage when the officiant files it. We brought a certified copy of his birth certificate and travel wasn’t a problem. February 14, 2019. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. In many states, when you fill out your application for your marriage license, you’ll be writing your intended married name on that application. That can make things easier when you go on trips, have to deal with schools, and even when you're just interacting with other parents. From our initial conversation, we knew we didn’t want him to only have one of our names. Create a new last name by combining both surnames. The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. When we’d gotten married several years earlier, I opted not to change my name. Do you have baby name regret?When our son came wailing into the world, we grinned down at all nine pounds, nine ounces of him, signed the birth certificate and headed home with our hyphenated-last-name baby. Update your name change on all legal documents. pros/cons of two last names...? this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. How to Get a Marriage License in New York City, Tips for Filing Your Taxes as a Married Couple, Everything You Need to Know About Traveling and a Name Change. This application becomes the legal marriage document after the wedding. In most states, the cost isn't more than a few hundred dollars, but that amount could be prohibitive for some people. If you’re on the fence about changing your last name—you’re in good company! Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. "My last name is James, my husband's is Fitzgerald, and our child's is Fitzjames," says one BabyCenter mom. plus, people are always … Having one family name can band a family together. Learn more about the pros and cons of merging last names and how to create a new last name. How to Change Your Name After Your Wedding. If you don't get this right, you may have to spend time and money petitioning the courts for a legal name change after the marriage. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. In my opinion, the pros of changing your name to your fiance's far outweigh the cons. 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